Reflexive Bodies

Retreat

Since I was already attending a couple of Akzeptanz group courses over the winter, I had roughly an idea what it would be like. And actually, I had no expectations. That's why I didn't expect it to have such an impact on me at so many levels and to come back to Berlin so much grown inside.

I mentioned this a couple of times during the retreat already, but a big surprise for me was the group dynamics outside the classes. It was really nice to spend time with the participants and get to know them better. In the regular Acceptance courses, we were always perfect strangers, which also has its own charm, but the retreat showed me again how diverse and interesting people can be. Here, I was reminded of your words, Elke, that one shouldn't just focus on oneself, but also on the group and group dynamics.

I found the combination of writing and movement really great because it allowed me to better understand what had just happened or what effect the topic had on us. You could observe and describe it for a moment longer than in dance where it disappears quickly. You could not only be present in the moment of realization but also perceive it, stay in the moment, hold onto it, reflect on it. I really liked that we were supposed to read our own texts. It was initially challenging because I had never read my own texts before, but I really enjoyed it. The reading - spotlight effect - had a really strong therapeutic effect. The fact that everyone had to do it was crucial. Otherwise, I would have had the feeling that we had to compete for who gets to read their text, i.e. who is more extroverted. I had another moment of this kind at the end of the retreat when we shared our experiences - I am very grateful for these solo spotlight moments.

‍

I didn’t know what to expect of the weekend and found myself discovering a new way of communicating and expressing, namely with my body, followed by words only after the body had spoken. Instead of the usual thought process, I learned to explore expression physically and realised that the body offers a way to negotiate emotions and relationships through space, weight (gravity), tension, expectations (suspense) and physical parameters of itself and the surroundings. The experience was then distilled and shared in written form, tying ideas and the group together.

I was very surprised to notice how feelings were created purely through the physical and how, in response, those feelings could be explored and answered to also with the physical.

It was the first time that I got to know a group of people intimately without speech (except about the movement) and I felt this was a valuable lesson, because it demanded less ego and more vulnerability from everyone involved.

I can recommend this workshop to anyone interested in their emotional landscape and in how emotions are dependent on and shared between people (and animals). Also, to anyone really interested in feeling their body. I have a new appreciation for my physical manifestation after this weekend.

Thank you Elke, Adrian and my fellow movement-writing-astronauts.

‍